February 26, 2016
Some of the best intentions start out as: "Don't be mad at me, but... I have to tell you something." You respond, "I won't be mad! Just tell me." And then your friend proceeds to tell you that the dress you're wearing makes you look fat, or that she hates your new boyfriend, or she saw him out with another woman. No good will ever come out of a person's mouth when it is proceeded by "Don't be mad at me, but..."
But, we're a curious bunch. Even knowing that we're probably not going to like to hear what's coming, we urge them on. "Don't be silly! Of course I won't be mad. Just spit it out."
So, turns out, she takes you at your word... and spills the beans with her unsolicited advice. And of course... you are mad. You're pissed. You bite your lip and force a smile. Maybe take a big swig of your margarita.
"I knew I shouldn't have said anything. You're mad."
You're fuming, but, she did warn you, so that makes it perfectly excusable, right?! "No, of course I'm not mad!"
Unsolicited advice is a lot like an opinion or an asshole. Everyone has one. :)
Sometimes, it's better to just keep the advice to yourself if it's something that will be interpreted as hurtful or hateful, or just plain rude and unnecessary!