February 13, 2016
The Perfect Comeback
I am the queen of comebacks. I have a sharp tongue, quick wit, and sometimes, I've been known to open my mouth and let the words just fall out. There are a lot of witty things a person can say, situation appropriate, of course.
What about the man who thinks he's "all that" asking a woman to dance. He's absolutely positive there's no way in hell she'd ever turn him down. He's Mr. Cocky, Mr. God's Gift To Women. He slams another shot of tequila and makes his way across the crowded bar. He's had his eye on a hot little blonde sitting with her friends. The girls are laughing, having a great time. But there's one thing missing. Mr. GGTW, arrogant bastard that he is, takes out his cell phone to check his hair in the reflection on the darkened screen. Oh yeah, he's still got it.
He sidles up to the petite girl and smiles a crooked, but none-the-less perfect, grin at her. He sees her checking him out. What he doesn't see is how before he walked over, the women had been taking bets on how long it would take him to pull out all of his fake, make you drop your pants charm. He totally missed the eye rolls. He thinks they're just being giggly girls. What they're really doing is laughing at some inside joke about the typical Saturday night predator. No matter how harmless he might seem on the outside, these women know, he's a predator.
"Would you like to dance?" He has to get close. The club is crowded and the music loud.
She wrinkles her nose, taken aback by his invasion of her space. She eyes him up and down and says, "No. I don't think so." She turns away from him, in a move to dismiss him.
His face burns hot. How dare that smug little tart turn him down. He can't resist the chance to give her a perfect comeback and says. "Dance? I didn't ask you to dance! I said 'you sure look fat in those pants."
He snickers to himself and walks away, the cocky swagger hiding his inner embarrassment.